I am tired of the…

I am tired of the gendered language around harassment and assault. I spent a year twenty years ago volunteering on an GLBT anti-violence hotline, and took a lot of domestic violence calls re: man on man or woman on woman violence. I am sick of seeing all of the rants about 'creeper men' and the like. Yes, there are men who harass. Sometimes directed at women, sometimes at men. There also women who do this. Sometimes to men, sometimes to other women. I am sure there are trans folks who do it too, and we all know (I hope) that trans folks have it done to them.

And look, I understand the history of why people tend to talk about men as harassers, but I think it's both annoying and counterproductive. Let's talk about the behavior we want to see change.

I wish there were an equivalent to that Jay Smooth video, the one about "How to Tell People They Sound Racist." I want one on "How to Tell People They Just Harassed Someone."

Because no, I don't think it's necessarily obvious to many of them. Maybe it should be, but it isn't. But we can fix that, just like I can teach my toddler that he doesn't get to just hit his sister when she won't share a toy with him.

This -- this right here. See what you did? This is not acceptable behavior.