I’m still reading…

I'm still reading through these posts, and am posting this not as a judgement on the incidents / people involved (some of whom I know), but rather as an analysis of my own responses.

  • I'm distressed to find that I am reluctant to believe that a woman raped a man -- if the accusation had gone the other way, I think I would have assumed that the rape had likely happened. As the post linked says, I have "a set of feminist priors that means giving the benefit of the doubt to the testimony of rape victims " Whereas here, I find myself doubting, wanting evidence, in order to be convinced. That seems unfair to Jack, that gender bias.

  • Finding out, partway through reading, that Jack is trans, made me more willing to believe the allegation. I think that's probably a problem, that I had that reaction.

  • Although I was perfectly willing to speak out on the Connie Willis / Harlan Ellison incident at the Hugo awards, I find myself hesitant to comment here on something that happened 'in private' -- although, as it turns out, some of the action (alleged?) was not private. I was at the convention where this happened; if I'd spent more time at the parties, I could easily have witnessed some of what's being discussed. I wonder whether my desire to move this to the private sphere, to the none-of-my-business sphere, is another excuse, a way to avoid dealing with this.

I'm going to keep reading; I haven't read Kynn's responses yet. But I don't like some of my reactions here, and I am trying to be aware of them, and to figure out which ones are subtly or not-so-subtly influenced by cultural brainwashing. Ugh.

One thought on “I’m still reading…”

  1. I’ve been following this, and what it comes down to for me is, “if you’re going to accuse someone of rape in a public forum, and don’t follow through with legal action, then the person you accused could well take legal action against you for defamation.” As I have said elsewhere, this needs professional mediation and professional therapy. Not the Internet. And anyone who says that this could “save someone else” from Kynn is wrong, actually. This is a public shaming in lieu of, you know, actually using the mechanisms laid out by a civil society to achieve redress. And who better than a trans person to do this through the courts? I get that our legal system is no fan of trans people but we’ve got to start changing that sometime, and it’s only going to happen through, well, trailblazers.

    Of course it’s horrible. It’s awful for all parties. But throwing this out online–a charge that no one can defend themselves against online–is just revenge. Not healing.

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