Just out of curiosity, went back into my journal a decade ago to see what I was doing:
- dating both Kevin and Jed, fairly happily at that point, I think, though with rockiness surrounding
- living in Utah near Kevin (we were trying living in the same city but not in the same home because he wasn't sure he could really be happy living with someone, so we were six blocks apart, which turned out to be too far, perhaps because we were too lazy to walk that far when we wanted to see each other)
- stressing about applying to the Ph.D. program at Utah, not at all sure that they would let me in, or that my writing was serious enough for them (in the end, they wait-listed me, and then accepted me, so I was definitely a marginal acceptance...but then I got both the English department and Humanities competitive fellowships, so I must have improved in the two years I was in the program :-)
- on tense terms with my family (re: the sex writing primarily), but improving at that point, I think
- revising "Seven Cups of Water" for Aqua Erotica
- resolving to stress less and relax more
And now, I have:
- still Kevin and Jed, much more solidly than before
- Kavya and Anand and Ellie
- more relaxed terms with my family, who were much happier with me once the munchkins showed up and I started doing more 'literary' fiction (though still with plenty of sex in)
- Bodies in Motion, plus several other books (ten total, I think)
- a Ph.D. and a job I love teaching creative writing and literature at UIC
- a 100-year-old Victorian house undergoing major renovation
- four books 'in progress', whatever that means
- months if not years since I've written much
- much more stress and a body that's starting to fall apart at the seams (serious lower back and hip problems in the past several months, plus shoulders that are perpetually rock hard and aching with tension) -- although at least I've lost the Anand baby weight and am finally starting to lose the Kavya baby weight too; I'm eating better in general, I think (less crazy off-and-on dieting, more intuitive eating and small meals throughout the day)
Overall, a clear win for the past decade, although I'm starting to fret about the not writing. Still, my only resolution for 2010 is to try to stress less, and sleep more. That one's going to take some work, though.
