This is the…

This is the dog. In just a few hours and a pair of shoes this dog convinced me to buy dog treats from TreeHousePuppies. This is the dog who had too short a walk. This is the dog who had too short a walk and was left alone. This is the dog who had too short a walk, and was left alone, in a room with shoes. This is the dog who had too short a walk, and was left alone, and found the shoes. This is the dog who had too short a walk, and was left alone, and was bred to hunt. This is the dog who had too short a walk, and was left alone, and attacked the shoes. This is the dog who had too short a walk, and was left alone, and destroyed the shoes. This is the dog who shouldn't be blamed, 'cause it wasn't her fault she was left alone. These are the shoes that Mary Anne loved, the beautiful shoes, the favorite shoes. Mourn the shoes.

8 thoughts on “This is the…”

  1. This is Bitter Apple. Apply liberally to any household item you have ever loved. Maybe all of the power cables, too, for good measure.

    (Also, just because it was ultimately your fault, doesn’t mean she didn’t know exactly what she was doing…)

  2. LOL good advice Jackie! I was going to recommend Bitter Apple as well, but luckily you already did.

    I mourn your shoes for you today Mary Anne. I had the same experience with my cat who never scratched anything for 8 months until one week I forgot to cut his nails. That night I came home to a shredded couch, but I knew it was my fault.

  3. a friend has directed me to your writing- and I am quite moved. I am wondering if you or any of your readers can help me:

    I am officiating the lesbian wedding of my two dear friends. I am searching for readings for the wedding, and thought I might use a passage of Mary Anne’s?

    The three catergories I am looking to fill are:

    1) lovey and woman-centered
    2) food oriented – community – come to our table, share our food, etc
    3) funny and poignant

    Any and all help is greatly appreciated! And thank you so much for your gorgeous writing!

    Best,
    Jenna White
    jennaeliza@yahoo.com

  4. Err, addendum. I meant they look pretty from the pictures so I can imagine how they looked like before the dog decided to practice her teeth on them. Just adding them because my post sounded like I actually knew the shoes and that made me go “Eh?” *chuckle*

  5. The caption for the first photo could read: “The following images you are about to see are disturbing. They have been computer-manipulated to place me in a compromising position. Do you really believe that I, with my face like an angel, could do these things?”

    What a sweetheart! Congrats on the new addition to your family!

  6. Amy, I must admit — the photos were staged. I wasn’t around when the shoes were actually destroyed — I did not see Ellie doing so, and it’s possible that some foul character assassin actually destroyed the shoes and then left them where poor Ellie would be blamed.

    The only reason I have photos is because I gave Ellie the destroyed shoes and took photos then, which Kevin says was maybe not the wisest move if I don’t want her to chew shoes in the future…

    And Greg, yes, you should get a dog! Everyone should get a dog! 🙂

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