I’m apparently looking…

I'm apparently looking younger than usual today. This morning, Purvi and I were working at Westgate on the CAAP application, and a girl sharing our table asked if we were doing a school project. And then just now, a college boy at the Bourgeois Pig cafe asked me if I went to DePaul -- I'm pretty sure he was heading towards actually hitting on me, too. How cute is that? :-)

I needed the pick-me-up, because I'm actually pretty exhausted and stressed. Didn't sleep last night -- I kept starting to fall asleep and then jerking awake, panicked, for no good reason that I could think of. I ended up lying on the couch and watching tv all night, dozing off periodically for ten or fifteen minutes and then waking up sharply again -- thanks to TiVo, at least I actually managed to finish watching the various shows that were keeping me occupied, though it took something like four runs through each one -- The Daily Show, Futurama, Good Eats. It's one way to spend a night. Not one I'd particularly recommend, mind.

No idea why I'm so stressed. Yesterday's meeting went well; we're moving steadily towards our goals, making good progress. I haven't written anything new in a while, but yesterday and today I re-read the almost half of the book that's drafted and made revisions as I went, so that's productive. Everything's fine on the job front -- I'm caught up on applications, and all that I can do is wait at this point, and respond when they ask me for things. (Tulane called and asked me to send them a full manuscript of BiM, which is a good sign, I think.) And while we had a brief moment of panic this afternoon when Katie called and said, um, I was supposed to send my committee copies of my dissertation two weeks ago, so they'd have time to read it before my defense next week, and was it perhaps in the mail, a) I didn't know that yesterday, so that can't have been why I had trouble sleeping, and b) it should be fine; I spent a couple hours printing and copying and Fed Ex'ing and sending apologetic notes today, and I think they'll forgive me.

So everything's fine. Kevin's out of town, but I haven't had time to even properly miss him yet. So what the heck am I panicking about???

I was distracted for most of the day, busy, but now that we're heading towards bedtime, I'm starting to feel anxious again. I'll drug myself with Benadryl if I have to tonight, but I'd really rather not end up relying on that kind of thing. I wish I knew what was going on. This is bloody annoying, is what it is.

Okay, try to write now. Maybe that will help. Can't really think of anything else.

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