Last night was yicky. I…

Last night was yicky. I chatted with Jed and then David for a bit, and got sleepy -- but just as I was thinking about actually sleeping, I started to feel really sick. Sort of shivery, watery feelings in my muscles, lots of queasiness, etc. Kevin came in and held me for a long while, and eventually convinced me to drink some water (I was resistant, even though I knew I hadn't had enough water yesterday, because even the thought of a bunch of water sloshing around in my stomach was making me more queasy). We tried to figure out why I'd gotten sick -- he thinks that 50 calories of chocolate cake may have been the culprit, giving my system some kind of sugar shock. I'm not sure I buy that explanation (I don't want to, I *like* chocolate cake), but maybe. I don't know if it was the water that did it, or the sitting up to drink it, but eventually I did feel better, enough to go to sleep. Kevin was a prince through the whole whiny, pathetic episode. This whole thing would be a lot harder to do without him here. I told him that, and he said that I could just call Jed, but as much as I love my Jedediah, there's only so much you can do over a phone line to make someone feel better. If any of you are trying this dieting thing, tell your friends and sweeties, okay? It's a lot easier with help and support.

I think the first couple times I tried to lose weight (oh, lo these many years ago), I didn't tell anyone. I tried to sneak-diet. The whole thing was somehow highly embarrassing -- I was very invested back then in claiming I was perfectly happy with the way I looked, and I wasn't going to admit to anyone that I didn't like being overweight. It still feels just slightly odd to say things like that out loud (or type them), but mostly I'm over it. I have a weight issue, it sucks, it's bugged me pretty much my entire adult life, I'm trying to deal with it. Is that embarrassing? Only if you think you're flawless, or want the world to think that. Maybe I wanted the world to think that when I was twenty, but now, I'm over it. And hey, if you stick around, maybe I'll tell you about the disgusting slime pit that is my bathroom tub, or my active dislike of teeth-brushing (and sheer hatred of flossing), or my many other unsavory habits...

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