Last night I had a minor…

Last night I had a minor melt-down. With the workshop immiment and too many things left to do in too short of a time (some of them having nothing to do with the workshop but nonetheless being either due or overdue), I got to a point where I just couldn't do anything at all...and I was too stressed about it to do the sensible thing which was stop working and go to sleep. Luckily, at some point Jed noticed that I was falling apart and made me go to bed and held me until I calmed down and told me it would all be okay. Which, in some sense, I knew already, but my mind can say one thing and my emotional self can remain firmly convinced otherwise.

Mostly, I enjoy the mad rush that is my life, especially these days, when I'm not trying to fit it around a nine-to-five job. All my deadlines are, in some sense, self-imposed, and I love that. I love adding new, exciting deadlines to them. But sometimes, something rises up and thumps me upside the head, in effect saying -- "slow down, you're doing too much!" This is probably a good thing, in truth, although it may not seem like it at the time.

You know I'm in trouble when someone asks me what I'm working on, and I just look at them sort of bewildered and finally ask them in which area. And then once they clarify that, I start telling them, and it goes on and on and on and I can't seem to stop talking, despite the glazed look in their eyes and the fact that they're backing away slowly...

What am I working on? Right now, I'm going to finish making my tea, and put on my headphones, and finish this damn staff gallery and send it off to Will. If it's not yet 10 o'clock, I will then go back to critting stories for the workshop. At 10, we'll go to the airport, and at noon, I'll get on a plane to Portland. I'll keep critting stories until I get off the plane. Then I will pick up my bags at baggage claim, meet Jay and the others who are picking me up, and we'll have a pleasant three hour drive to the coast. If absolutely necessary, I'll work a little more in the car, but I'm also allowed to nap, or just chat with people. When I get to the house, I'll dump my stuff, then go and get groceries. This will not be stressful -- it will be straightforward. When Jed and Susan arrive, I'll delegate any leftover people-greeting to them and go to bed, finishing any critiques that need to be finished. And I won't stress over any of this, so there. As Jed says, it'll be fine.

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