I want to work on the…

I want to work on the novel. How lovely, to have a piece of writing I want to work on. Soon, I'll be able to do just that, anytime I feel like it. But today, one last day of drudgery. I must churn out pages for this paper (reitering stuff I already know, for the most part, jumping through one last academic hoop), finish it off. And then I'll really feel like I'm done with Utah. (Obviously, I'm still in the grad program there, but I think it'll feel very different once I'm done with classwork.) Can't wait.

It's funny, but the novel has made me feel more like I live here too. I watched some tv with Kevin last night, but by eleven or so, the novel ideas were itching at me too much, so I came out to the living room, settled down with headphones and my computer. I thought for a while, then wrote for a while, while he watched a Sharks hockey game in the other room. (I honestly don't think he liked sports much when we started dating; I'm not sure when that changed.) But sitting here, writing my thing and mostly ignoring him; that felt real; it felt right, in a way that's hard to explain. And when he came to tell me that he was going to bed, I said goodnight but kept writing. I'm not sure that would have happened, if I were just here for a visit. I would have been too aware of how little time we had together; it would have been hard giving any of it up. Now I have the luxury of being able to ignore him for a while, to work without feeling like I'm giving up important time with him. It's so lovely; just a wonderful free feeling. Maybe we can do this. Fingers crossed.

I took a break partway through and cleared off one of his shelves and put my books on it. Alphabetized them too -- both the ones I'd read, and the ones I hadn't yet. Very satisfying, even though it's only about fifteen books (some left here previously, and some I brought with me). It's amazing how my books help make the space mine. Very comforting.

Now I've lit a few candles and I really ought to get to work. Will check in with y'all later, I'm sure. Have a good day!

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