On the plus financial side, the Donors Page is up at Strange Horizons, and we should have one up for Clean Sheets shortly. If you're interested in helping to support either erotica or speculative fiction (please?), stop by and take a look. If you get in soon at SH with a slightly major contribution, you can be listed as a Founder, and know that you helped start what I hope is going to be a fabulous sf/f magazine. And even small contributions help, of course. We're happy to list you in gratitude (in your name, the name of someone you want to honor, or anonymously) with a link to the website of your choice.
I feel a little odd using this journal to essentially ask for money, but it's not for me -- it's for a good cause! Not quite as worthy as helping starving refugees or sick children, but I do think it's important to support the arts, however we can. I'm tempted to go off into a long screed (right word?) about feeding the soul, but I'll restrain myself for now. But just take a moment to think of your favorite writer or artist, imagine them when they were young and struggling, and consider what would have happened if there hadn't been a market for them to publish in...
Anyway -- I had planned to write this morning, but have been dealing with money stuff instead. Oh well. I did get Kevin's plant finally hung up, which was satisfying, and I've done almost all my dishes (just two pots and the fragile glassware left), so once I finish that and prune my plants and sweep the sunroom, the public parts of the apartment will be clean. Huzzah. I should try to write this afternoon, but I have a doctor's appointment at 4...well, we'll see.
(Nothing wrong -- just a physical. Haven't done one of those in...oh...four years? Got to get that thyroid bloodwork done too...I hate needles. Well, I hate pain, really. Not needles in particular.)
10:30. Well, the visit to the doctor was interesting. I've been dealing with a lot of fatigue, especially in the last six months, and since I haven't had my thyroid levels checked since 1996, I figured it was probably that I needed to increase my dosage. Probably still true, but after doing the whole history thing, she came up with two other possibilities. One I'd forgotten about, but sort of knew in the back of my head was a possibility -- anemia. My mother has that. The other, however, was depression.
That weirded me out a little. I'm a pretty bouncy cheerful person most of the time. I mean, sure I get tired, and I've gained more weight this year than I ever have in a year before, and I have a tendency to get weepy at night, and I get panicky every time I have money problems, and I get weepy when people are mad at me, or when people might be mad at me, or...
Well, let's just say that after we talked a while, I could see where she got that possibility. But she had me take some questionnaires, and based on them, I'm not exhibiting most of the classic symptoms of clinical depression -- just some mild anxiety. So she decided depression was even less likely than she'd originally thought, and it was probably the thyroid or anemia at fault. I should have the bloodwork back by Friday, so we'll know more definitively soon.
Y'know, it's bad enough that there are some things wrong with my body. It definitely creeps me out to think that there might be things wrong with my brain.
It does seem to be working okay tonight. I finally wrote another page (after too long not writing!), working off an exercise from writing group tonight (which is always invigorating). We were to write one page, using thought a motif that we would all hold in common. The motif was 'speed'. It'll be interesting to see what people come up with. I'm afraid I didn't manage anything as subtle as I'd hoped -- I wrote about a girl, running. But I like it, and I think it may be Leilani, which means that it'll fit neatly into "Pieces of the Heart" (which I also managed to revise slightly tonight. It's still pretty over-written, though. And clunky. S'okay -- I can smooth and trim fairly efficiently at this point. It used to be much more painful than it is now).
Okay, getting sleepy, and I have some grading to do in the morning. Talk to y'all tomorrow. Sleep well, munchkins.