I still have to catch…

I still have to catch myself to keep from typing 1998. Hopefully that'll change soon.

Well, last night was reasonably productive -- I read another story of Jed's for the group, did last revisions on "The Gardener" and sent it out to SFY. I also spent hours on the phone, mostly with Kirsten, catching up. She's engaged! So that's another wedding coming up (Roshani's is in July), and I have to make sure my calendar stays free for it. It's odd that I haven't even met her fiance, Chris -- she was my roommate in college for two years, and we've stayed in reasonably close touch -- I just haven't made it out to visit in a few years. And so she goes and falls in love and gets engaged. Maybe she did it to spite me, as her revenge for my not visiting. :-)

Not so much more real news -- just puttering this morning. Crank! is defunct, so my story came back. I'm sending "Amanda" to Pirate Writings, and "Deep with Sea" to Odyssey, in England. Fingers crossed. This afternoon I have a temp agency interview, and two more tomorrow. I'll feel a lot better if I have temp work, at least. I have to get ready and go, so I'll talk to y'all later...hope your week is going well so far.

Just one more thing -- a haiku I wrote last night:

***

Last night we fought for
blankets and shivered. Tonight
I sleep warm, and sad.

***

11:05 p.m. Well, the temp agency interview went well, as expected. The tech writing ones are depressive, so perhaps I should alternate them, to help boost my morale. I despise job hunting. Ick yuck.

I'm feeling sort of drained tonight. David made me dinner, which was really nice, 'cause I'm exhausted. Then we watched Friends for a while. Nice to veg out. I think I'm coming to an end of a writing spurt, which is always a bit depressing. I still remember how good it feels to be writing, but I have no inspiration to write anything, and no urge. I suppose it's just as well, since I really need to find work right now, but is no fun. :(

I'm taking refuge in books. I finished the Allende. I'm not a huge fan of 'sweeping family sagas', since they're often terrible, but this one is certainly the best example of the form I've read. She doesn't shy away from showing the weakness in the good people, and the charm of the bad ones -- there really aren't clear good and bad people, and even when you think they are, the good ones love the bad ones, and that's the way life is, after all. And you understand why they love them. Why the abused wife stays with her husband, and eventually speaks to him again. It's a gift, to be able to show that convincingly.

I'm now reading _The Adventures of Alyx_, a short story collection by Joanna Russ that David lent me because he knew I liked her work. She's so angry -- yet it's channeled anger, anger in the service of her politics and her art. It reminds me that it's sometimes very useful to be angry. I tend to be something of a Pollyanna -- it's so easy for me to see everyone's side that I make excuses for people. I hardly ever get really angry with anyone -- except my mother, perhaps, and I'm not reasonable at all on that one. I don't know that most people *are* reasonable about their mothers.

In any case, Russ is really worthwhile. I don't know anyone else who does what she does. Hunt her up.

Gods -- I could babble at y'all forever, but that wouldn't fix the facts that I am still pretty awake, also quite tired and a bit mopey, and need to be up by 8 at the latest. And I should get some sleep, 'cause tomorrow's going to be a longish day. I'll be out at temp agency interviews between 9 and 5, and then I'll need to come home and do Clean Sheets.

Frankly, the last couple of weeks have been a bit substandard, but we're getting back up to speed now. A new story by Daniel James Cabrillo this week (the author of "Blowjob Triumphant", which we ran in the first month, and which was quite popular). A new poem by Victor Glazner, who's well known in the San Francisco slam community. Todd's written us a book review of Alina Reyes's _Behind Closed Doors_, which I haven't even had time to read yet, but which I'm sure will be interesting. Somehow I have to pull a humor column out of a hat, but I'll probably manage something. I hope Kirstin will be back with us soon, so we can get new art again!

And, believe it or not, I've written an editorial. Sort of a state-of-the-magazine thing. I'd write opinion pieces, but I don't know what to have an opinion on. Suggestions welcome.

Okay -- I'm going to read some more Russ and then go to sleep. Take care, munchkins. Sleep well.

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