Evelyn Waugh to Laura Herbert, 1936
"Tell you what you might do while you are alone at Pixton. You might think about me a bit & whether, if those wop priests ever come to a decent decision, you could bear the idea of marrying me. Of course you haven't got to decide, but think about it. I can't advise you in my favour because I think it would be beastly for you, but think how nice it would be for me. I am restless & moody & misanthropic & lazy & have no money except what I earn and if I got ill you would starve. In fact its a lousy proposition. On the other hand I think I could do a Grant and reform & become quite strict about not getting drunk and I am pretty sure I should be faithful. Also there is always a fair chance that there will be another bigger economic crash in which case if you had married a nobleman with a great house you might find yourself starving, while I am very clever and could probably earn a living of some sort somewhere...."
11:45 -- hey, I'm back. Oof, big foofaraw going on in misc.writing, one of my favorite newsgroups. Someone suggested splitting it up, and everyone got upset. I actually think it might be helpful, but I doubt it'll pass as everyone is so sure it'll 'destroy the newsgroup'. Sillies. It certainly could -- but whether it does or doesn't is entirely in their hands. If you're curious, I'll be posting a long opinion on it in there soon.
Otherwise, lots of work, don't want to do it. :-/ I got kinda mopey last night and ran up my phone bill making friends talk to me until I cheered up. :-) Just general blues -- there was nothing actually wrong. You know how it goes sometimes. I'm tired, I'm lonely, I have no friends, nobody loves me, I'm fat and ugly and I can't write. Etc. and so on -- same old crap everyone gets at times and you know it isn't true -- you even know it right then, but that doesn't seem to help. What's worst is when you can't actually reach any of your friends *and* you have nothing to read. :-) Luckily, wasn't true last night and I'm fine now...
Better stop babbling at you all and get back to work -- I've got mild money worries, but lots of contracts, so if I just do the writing, I'll be fine. Wanna help me with ideas for a space opera? I need to sketch out a plot for my next Puritan novella -- Triple-Breasted Whore of Eroticon VI-type stuff, though perhaps not *quite* so obvious. I'm tempted by Galaxy Janet, she's the Galaxy girl....but I already wrote a story for Puritan with a heroine named Janet, so I'd better go with something else.
3:45 -- Okay, on the one hand I was really good this afternoon -- finished Agnes Grey, dealt with a lot of e-mail, and polished off the 'Selene' dom interview and sent it to the erotica group for comments. Good. Virtuous me. On the other hand, I totally flaked on a 2:00 meeting with this girl who was going out of her way to loan me her beginning recorder book so I could memorize the fingerings so I could play duets with her in a beginning performance group this semester. Eek. Have to go home in a bit and live a very apologetic message on her answering machine, if she has one. I have to say, that's one thing I really like about voice mail/answering machines -- if you need to say something difficult, they make life much easier. They're especially good for apologies when you're feeling really wimpy. Anyway, win some, lose some -- I think today's a net positive. I have a lot of reading to do this weekend, as I plan to read by a book by my professor for the Fiction class and The Professor's House, the Cather book for the other Fiction class. I'm awfully tempted to spend this evening vegged out in front of the tv, though -- really tired. We'll see.